top of page
Writer's pictureBlack Birdseye View

The 1st Trauma


When I was a real little girl, I remember this black car that looked like the one Batman drove. It was speeding down the dirt road kicking up dust. I knew it was coming to Grandmama's house or Uncle Roy's house. They were the only homes on that road.


Mama and Grandmama made us all hide in the pantry. The man who got out of the black car walked outside Grandmama's house. I didn't know what was going on. We were all being quiet and hiding.


The next time I saw him, he stood at Grandmama's front door. I don't know where everyone else was. I was just a little girl. He stood at the screen door. I didn't run. I stood there. He said,


"Unlock the door, Robin. Come on, baby, unlock the door. He knew my name. He sounded so kind. So I did. He rushed past me, grabbed my baby brother Daniel, and took off running to his car. He ran right past me. As he sped down the road, Grandaddy was shooting at his car.


A little while later, I remember all of us children going into this big building with a whole lot of steps. After that, Daniel was back home.


I would later learn that the man in the black car was my father. He kidnapped Daniel and not me. The truth of the matter is that I had a full-grown daddy with and a whole mess of cousins less than 2 hours away, but they got replaced with Jackal.


I don't know what went down between Mama and my biological father, but I do know that he didn't get to be anyone in my life by no choice of mine. If there was a semblance of a father in the picture, Jackal might have hesitated for fear of consequences. People only do what they are allowed to get away with, and Mama? She let Jackal get away with the raping of at least two of her daughters' souls. That house on the hill was a nesting place for a predator who told my grandmother he fell in love with Mama's kids before he fell in love with her.


I can't remember when it began, the touching.....

Comments


bottom of page