Everything came to a halt when I was 9 months pregnant and two weeks overdue with our son. I was still working. Carter was laid off and having a hard time dealing with it. He took to drinking.
One day I came home from work, and Carter had a house full of people. I went to my typewriter to journal. I've always kept a journal. After I got done writing, I went to the bathroom to bathe. This evening is still a blur to me. I remember Carter's brother asking him to drive him somewhere. I called out,
"Carter, take your car because you know I can't drive a stick."
I could have gone into labor at any time, and by my way of thinking, I could drive myself to the hospital if I needed to. The hospital was right around the corner.
In Carter's drunken state, he thought I was being disrespectful. I was butt-ass naked in the tub when he burst into the bathroom and punched me in the face. For the record, people really do see stars. Carter's brother came running in. He pulled Carter off me. Carter had his hands around my neck. I must have blacked out because, by the time I snapped out of it, I was at my neighbor's apartment in a robe that was clearly meant to be worn by a little woman with short arms. Police cars and motorcycles were everywhere. I guess my neighbor called the police when she found my naked body and saw blood spilling from my face.
I remember hearing the police officers saying,
"You don't want to press charges against him. He's father of your children."
I went back home with Carter. The following day, Carter went into the bathroom to shower. After showering, he came into our bedroom acting as if nothing had happened the day before and asked,
"Why didn't you clean up the blood?"
I knew I'd kill him, so I did the most loving thing I could have ever done. I picked up the phone and called his mother and asked,
Do you love your son?
She replied,
"Of course I love him."
Then I asked,
"Do you love him breathing?"
Before she answered I continued,
"Can he come home?"
Carter and I never lived together again. After our son was born, I drove to Fairfield, picked up the divorce papers, and filed for divorce.
He broke my heart.
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